just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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