The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
