Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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