She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
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I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize