you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
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my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
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I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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