But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
