Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
