porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I think people are normalizing furries
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
