Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
