Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
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Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
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she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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