We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
