she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
