I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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