Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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