i just wanna soil my oats bro
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize