Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize