either way he was missing a nipple.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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