you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
