i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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