lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up under a house in Key West
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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