She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
