remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
