What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
