Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
