I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
