The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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