is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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