from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
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So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.