WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.