I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.