wanna go halves on a baby?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
