I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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