im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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