She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
