I'm going to rape someone's good day.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize