Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
