that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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