Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
