Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
now i know why i became what i already was.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
