I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
