He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
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Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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