The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
