Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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