Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
