You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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