you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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