This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
