And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
NoShamevember. You game?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
