he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
