people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
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Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
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i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.