we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there