Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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