I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
40s are totally the cure
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
