I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
