EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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