We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
