No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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