My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
