i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
