the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
