doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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