Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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