it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now