So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
