Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
